How do I document without him finding out?

Please be gentle with yourself. You are doing something incredibly hard. I went through almost exactly this last year. Happy to share what helped if you want to DM.

The kids are more resilient than the fear tells you. Steady and honest is enough.

One year out and I promise there is a version of you on the other side of this who is okay.

Same boat, Surrey side. Reach out anytime — this community got me through.

Please be gentle with yourself. You are doing something incredibly hard.

The guilt lied to me for months. It does get quieter. Keep going.

It is okay to feel relieved. Relief is not the same as not caring.

Sending you so much strength. The first few weeks are the hardest and they do pass.