Protecting myself financially before I leave

One year out and I promise there is a version of you on the other side of this who is okay. One year out and I promise there is a version of you on the other side of this who is okay.

start with copies of everything. tax returns, statements, the mortgage papers. i photographed mine over a few quiet lunches and kept them off the shared computer.

Two things I tell every client in this position: don't sign anything you haven't had reviewed, and know that BC family law starts from equal division of family property, so leaving does not mean walking away from your entitlements. General information rather than advice, but let it steady you.

The planning phase can be the loneliest part because you're carrying it silently. If you want a confidential space to think it through out loud, that's exactly what counselling is for, and several of us here offer sliding-scale first sessions.

From a safety-planning standpoint: an account at a completely different bank than your joint one, with paper statements turned off, is the standard advice. And if there is any fear attached to leaving, VictimLinkBC at 1-800-563-0808 can help you plan quietly and at your own pace.

get your own email address he doesn't know about first. everything else routes through that. it's the foundation move.

Adding to the good practical advice above: plan for your nervous system too, not just the finances. Leaving takes executive function, and fear eats executive function. Sleep, one trusted confidant, and a written checklist all count as financial protection.

People who prepare the way you're preparing tend to land on their feet. I've watched it many times. Methodical now, free later. You're doing this right.