Leaving after 20 years — starting over scared

Please be gentle with yourself. You are doing something incredibly hard. Practical tip: open your own bank account today, even with $20 in it. You will thank yourself.

Twenty years means the fear is proportional to the courage, not a sign you're making a mistake. In my practice, the long-marriage clients often rebuild the most deliberately and the most solidly. Scared and capable can be the same person.